mpowerwithmala

Is Giving the Greatest  Gift ? (A sobering realisation hit home by Covid-19) All my life I have been a giver ; I have loved helping or enabling people around me, my family, friends and even acquaintances, believing that I was doing God’s work itself. I truly felt it was the greatest gift that I could give. My high moments were when someone asked for my help, and in fact a whole lot of times I would offer help without being asked. No prizes for guessing my favourite refrain: ‘ I can’t say no ’, and I revelled in it. Let me start with a little bit of context here; I grew up in a small town, where I was very privileged and fortunate to be able to offer help to others. It continued when I grew up and got married, with a life of plenty and more for me. I did always recognise that I was blessed, and therefore loved sharing my plenty or privilege with others. It soon became not only a habit, but a necessity for me to feel useful and worthy ; and I was blind to this need in...

“THAPPAD”- A Slap to the Mother I am! (Warning: Spoilers for people who would like to watch the Indian Bollywood movie Thappad… Watch first and then come back to read J ) I recently watched Thappad with my husband of 28 years. It’s a story of many Indian women – diverse women in terms of age, social status, marital status, work – with one central female protagonist. The protagonist, a homemaker, is slapped by her husband of many years at a party in their home to celebrate his work promotion, when he realises mid-way through the party that the promotion is unlikely to happen. The story unfolds from there, and the lives of the other women get interwoven into that of the protagonist in many ways; her mother, neighbours’ teenage daughter, her house helper, her female lawyer. Let’s get to the point! I thought I was this really progressive Indian woman and in particular, mother! In fact, I am not ashamed to admit that I held my head high when younger girls, my nieces, young cl...

‘Someone’ Looking out for Me! (Another Covid-19 realisation ) I have always believed in a higher someone looking out for me, and still do. I also truly believe that I was born lucky and that good fortune continues to follow and envelop me all my life, but never have I felt this more than during these Covid times! While I knew I had this higher someone looking out for me, I completely forgot about the someone right here looking out for me; or as I go on to discover, the many ‘someones’ ! But, as you would know about me if you’ve been reading my previous articles, I am again digressing, so let me get to the specifics. Covid started for me with a bang; I faced the decision about whether or not to get my son back from the US, and we had only 2-3 days to take the decision. My husband, children and I just couldn’t take a call and were agonising and procrastinating, and time was running out. At this time, a certain someone, (let’s call this person X ) took matters into her...

What is a Good Plan? (Another Covid-19 Lesson) I have always been a super-duper planner, “ platinum standard ”! I have been told that by everyone who knows me well (yes, I do mean everyone ), and also people who’ve spent just a few hours with me. I also definitely believe it myself without needing to be told by anyone else. Though recently, over the last two-three years, and now particularly due to Covid-19, my “plans” have just not been working out the way I envisioned and designed them. Yes, guilty ! I actually put down my plans on paper with every single detail! And then beat myself up (and oftentimes others or the events around me) when things haven’t gone according to my “super” plan. I even claimed credit for having transferred this “planning tendency” to people I have influence over; in particular my son, and held my head in pride when he stuck to his plans and even when he questioned or often beat himself up when he couldn’t. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me ...